When someone says something that’s 100% wrong about my adopted hometown of Detroit, I am compelled to right that wrong. I’m kind of like Thor protecting Asgard in that way. And if you insist on comparing me to Chris Hemsworth, I guess I can’t stop you.
As for the wrong, here it is: A recent article posted on For The Win, USA TODAY’s fun and irreverent website that probes anything and everything in the world of sports (and then some), ranked Comerica Park No. 21 among Major League Baseball’s 30 stadiums.
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Written another way, Comerica Park was ranked the 10th-worst stadium in the majors. TENTH. WORST.
If you’ve been to Comerica Park, the Detroit Tigers’ home since 2000 that’s so good it made most around here suspend their nostalgia for Tiger Stadium, I’m preaching to the choir. If you haven’t been to Comerica Park, well then you’re probably the author of For The Win’s ridiculous ranking.
And that’s why I hate writing this. I don’t like attacking other people’s opinions. I love debate, and if that was the intention of this ranking, then it succeeded. But there wasn’t anything to debate, because this is the totality of the author’s reasoning for ranking Comerica Park: “See No. 20.”
Really? Comerica Park didn’t even warrant a complete sentence? You know, subject, predicate, that kind of thing?
Instead readers were directed to drive around the Detroit pothole and check out No. 20, where we find the Cincinnati Reds’ Great American Ballpark, which we are told “is just an OK place to watch baseball. There are worse stadiums, but there are definitely better parks.”
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Must have burned the midnight oil coming up with that one, eh?
Because the Free Press is also part of the USA TODAY Network, I know that this ranking had more than 1.2 million page views in the first three days of its publication. That’s a staggering number for any publication, which means a lot of people saw this ranking and might actually believe Comerica Park truly ranks among MLB’s bottom-third ballparks.
And that’s just not true.
I haven’t been to every ballpark, but I’ve been to many. Chief among them are two of the ranking’s top 5: No. 1 Petco Park and No. 5 Dodger Stadium.
Before I get to those parks, I can’t resist telling you about No. 11 Camden Yards in Baltimore, which the ranking described as “a nice ballpark in a great location.” It’s a cool park that kicked off the neo-retro look many parks copied.
I visited the stadium about 20 years ago on a beautiful summer’s day, so I walked about a mile from my hotel in the touristy Inner Harbor area. After the game let out at night, it was impossible to catch a taxi, so I walked back through the downtown Baltimore neighborhood, which sprouted a sizable evening population of seemingly pimps and prostitutes. I walk-ran as calmly and quickly as I could back to my hotel, wishing I could summon the weapon wheel from “Grand Theft Auto” if things went the wrong way.
Great location? Maybe for an episode of “The Wire.”
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To be fair, the ranking featured plenty of good, thoughtful choices. Chief among them is Petco Park in the top spot, which is lauded for being in downtown San Diego, plus “the weather, the food, the beer and, of course, the stadium itself.”
I’ve been to Petco and it truly is fabulous and might one day be the venue of champions — if Fernando Tatis Jr. and Manny Machado can stop fighting long enough. Lots of attractions surround the stadium, including a mini baseball field for kids, a lounging park and food vendors on a closed-off street, plus probably the best stadium food. And it has the best view in baseball (sorry, Giants) that lets you see airplanes descending seemingly through high-rises.
But Dodger Stadium at No. 5 is another story, and it proves how far off base this ranking is.
If there were any sense to the ranking, Dodger Stadium and Comerica Park would switch places, and I’m speaking as a lifelong Dodgers fan who spent $300 to attend Game 3 of the 2021 NLCS. The stadium sits on a hill built from the excavated land of a ravine, it has no walkable access, it’s surrounded by a criminally inadequate parking lot and it’s a horror show to enter and exit. The stadium offers no fan attractions, it isn’t near downtown and it borrows no charm from its surrounding neighborhood. But it gets points in the ranking for having a live mariachi band that makes it “automatically top 5.”
In this way, Dodger Stadium is the opposite of Comerica Park, which not only embraces downtown Detroit, but has become a focal point of the city. Much of Detroit’s entertainment development has sprung up around the stadium. Its a knockout with beautiful views of downtown that are reminiscent of Petco Park, Pittsburgh’s PNC Park and Cleveland’s Progressive Field. The concourse wraps around the stadium and let’s you appreciate the dynamic vibrancy of people walking around and enjoying themselves.
Then there’s the carousel and the Ferris wheel. We can’t forget that baseball games are often family outings and anyone who’s ever taken a restless kid to a 3½-hour baseball game knows how crucial it is to have kid-friendly attractions and distractions available.
The Tigers also work hard to introduce new food each year that complements fan favorites. It’s not the exotic offerings of street tacos, sushi and crab cakes you find at other parks, but it’s good, inventive and caters to the tastes of Michiganders who know how to correctly pronounce pasty.
When you consider everything — location, access, attractions, scenery, team history, loyalty and engagement of fans, food and the overall vibe — it’s hard to beat Comerica Park.
If you don’t believe me, see No. 1.
Contact Carlos Monarrez at cmonarrez@freepress.com and follow him on Twitter @cmonarrez.